Brave

January 5, 2016

When thoughts flash by faster than words can say, and when sentences get mentally formed before I can type it out, it becomes very difficult to write.

I am experiencing something of the sort today. There are so many of my thoughts that want release and so many memories coming to mind and yet, I am just unable to type fast enough.

Today, I speak on a very personal issue. Today I delve deeper into my heart to bring out something raw and beautiful. Today, I speak of my grandfather.

I lost my grandfather very, very recently.

My Tate (pronounced: “thathe”), was someone very important in my life. He was an ideal man, a good husband, a good father and a good grandfather. He taught me so many things that I didn’t know.

I am his first grandchild, and I think that was the reason we shared a very special bond.

I still remember, whenever we used to visit my grandparents’ place during the summer vacations, I would sleep right next to him and he would tell me a different story each night. He is probably the reason why I like Indian Mythology and History very much.

My grandfather led an extremely disciplined retired life. He would get up early in the morning and do his yoga routine everyday without fail. He would complete the crossword and Sudoku in the paper each day, saying that it would keep his mind sharp. He was the one who taught me to play sudoku actually.

He loved languages dearly and had knowledge of at least around 7 of them. I probably get my inclination towards writing from him.

I have so many such memories of him and I truly hope I keep them alive in me always.

My grandfather was, most importantly a fighter to the highest degree. When the cancer was initially diagnosed, he took the news so well and was prepared to fight it off.

Almost 3 years later, after a major operation, many chemotherapy sessions, many high intensity radiation sessions and umpteen blood tests and transfusions, we were very delighted and surprised that he had shown NONE of the typical side effects of all of those dangerous medical procedures.

He took all of those potent and powerful medications so well and had already beat off the cancer completely 2 times.

But when it recurred the 3 rd time, it became slightly tougher and the slow deterioration began. He, however, never once showed the pain he was going through, and the fighter that he was, never refused to back down.

He went away peacefully.

The sadness is gone and the vaccum has set in. But I now realise that I wouldn’t be honoring the greatness of his personality if I remain down for a long time.

He represents courage, love and integrity for me, and I wouldn’t do him justice if I don’t carry forward what he started.

I am determined to become the true granddaughter to my grandfather. I want to be just as strong, resilient, punctual and meticulous as he was.

Though the physical body is gone, my Tate lives on. My Tate is vibrantly alive in his message, in his love and most importantly, in his eldest granddaughter.

I will be a great person indeed, if I become half the man that he was.

I will lead a great life indeed if I become….

…..JUST AS BRAVE…..

Bangalore, Karnataka, India